28 Weeks Pregnant; What Your Mama Doesn't Tell You

1. Tying my shoes has become quite the task. Anything of the sort really; picking up anything from off the ground, getting up from the couch, out of the car, off the toilet.
2. At my last appointment Doc happily said "Looking very good Michelle, looks like you gained 5 pounds last month. Excellent!"
It took all I had in me not to kick him in the crotch...then when he looks up at me sad and confused say, "You know why!" (watch the movie What happens in Vegas)
3. Don't judge me if I don't shave my bikini line all summer. I can't see it.
4. Just realized baby has been having hiccups for the past month. It's all cute and adorable until it's midnight and the darling hiccups don't stop for 45 minutes straight.
5. My mind has not quite caught up with my growing body parts. Therefore I see a space I think I can fit through no problem but my butt (belly, boobs, you name it) gets a rude awaking when I ram straight into the counter, or doorknob, or car door, etc. I have the bruises to prove it.
6. Here is our shower stall...

Small for a regular person. I think I'll be lucky to be able to close the door in 2 months.
7. Had my Glucose test last month. While waiting the full 60 minutes to get my blood drawn I'm pretty sure I puked 95% of my bright orange sugar drink up. Turns out I passed with flying colors. No one tell my Doctor why.
8. My little sister is getting married in a week in a half. I tried on my size 14 dress she bought for the knocked-up bridesmaid. Let's just say they do make maternity clothes for a reason, turns out 7th month pregnant women don;t seem to fit in even plus size dresses.:) Sorry I'm ruining your wedding Nikki xoxoxo
9. No, we do not have a name picked out. No, the babies room is not ready. And Yes...I still have 2 and a half months left. Yikes!
10. Having your Husband drive from garage sale to garage sale wife-less looking for an "eggs-er-saucer"...priceless.

Four Years Strong

Our Anniversary came and went, filled with work and unpacking our house. I had big plans in mind to go somewhere nice to eat, go to a movie (which we haven't done in months), and loose 10 lbs. Those somehow all failed but we did end up having a great night with a sunset dog-walk, take-out sushi (don't worry, only cooked crab rolls for me), and a red-boxed Country Strong. I even got dressed up for the night but quickly changed back into Porter's shirt and comfy santa PJ's when we came home with food and movie.



I believe on our third anniversary we received our wedding video....no thanks to the video company going under before finishing our pre-paid purchase :) Therefore I know many of you have not seen it. I can only get the first of three downloaded so here is the first part of our day....second song is our luncheon, quite boring but fun for P and I to have. It's so fun to remember that amazing day (minus the weather). I can honestly say it was the happiest day of my life. Although I miss my flat tummy and Porter his full head of hair, these past four years have been so full of love and laughter. I have Porter to thank for that, he is the greatest husband and I thank my Father in Heaven for that everyday. I cannot wait to start our family together and watch him become the greatest dad.

May the Fourth be with You from Michelle Foulger on Vimeo.

24 Weeks Pregnant: What Your Mama Doesn't Tell You

...No you're not just seeing things. My eyes ARE shrinking into my growing cheeks. Plus my face swells in the morning time...

...my other cheeks look similar to this mamas...

1. Nice day, wanting to get some exercise. Jog 100 yards, have to pee so bad I have to turn around and walk home. Saddest part: I actually consider that exercise. I guess I'll stick to swimming, a little pee never hurt anyone right? :) Just Kidding...mostly.
2. Bought a 400 dollar Dyson. Some call it nesting. I call it; the only way I'm not giving away our 80 pound hair-ball before baby arrives. (And yes, I did spend an entire friday evening vacuuming our 900 square foot apartment...Best. Night. Ever.)
3. Open the fridge, what am i looking for? Call my mom, why am I calling? Show up an hour early for work, show up an hour late. Burn yet ANOTHER tortilla. Im losing my mind.
4. Completely blow up at Porter, he has to leave the house and let me cool for a bit, he returns an hour later, I completely forget why I got so upset, he calmly reminds me it was because he used OUR bathroom instead of the guest bath to make DooDoo. Get mad all over again.
5a. I get mad and cry at Porter for not being interested in feeling our Tiny Ninja kick. Hours later get even more mad when he wants to touch me TOO much. I then laugh because he still has 3 more months of this...he crys.
5b. "Unreasonable". Porter's new word for me....can't figure out why.
6. Steve, the drive-thru guy at Taco Bell knows me all too well.
7. I pee my pants a little every time I sneeze...no thanks to allergy season, laundry's really been piling around here.
8. Our moon-lit lovers walk on the beach in Mexico was rudely interupted by one of us having to pop-a-squat in the sand half way through.
9. Is it wrong that I am much more weirded-out than in awe that I can feel actual baby's body parts from outside my belly?
10. I just learned it's good to eat certain fish while pregnant but to keep it to 12 ounces a week...Does it mean I'm a bad mother if I possibly ate 4 pounds of fish when we were in Mexico for 7 days?
11. Little lady's newest trick: wake up an hour before mom's alarm clock goes off in the morning and practice her karate moves. Oh the joys.
12. Catching your husband smile at any baby girl he sees...all worth it.

20 Weeks Pregnant: What your Mama Doesn't Tell You

22 Weeks


What I actually feel like


1. Officially only one pair of pants left that I can button up.
2. I'm down to only one puke a day and peeing just 3 times a night. It's all very exciting.
3. I now sleep with 5 pillows minimum.
4. I find myself finding excuses to tell even random strangers that I'm pregnant...just so they don't think I'm fat.
5. "Miss nurse, please don't make me get on that scale."
6. My hips are bruised from only being able to sleep on my sides.
7. Hun, I know it's 72 degrees in our apartment, that's why I'm turning the air conditioning on.
8. Amazed and grateful to have a supportive, patient husband who still unconditionally loves me and is somehow still attracted to the crazy pregnant lady that is me.
9. Breaking down and finally going maternity shopping...it's just as terrible as I imagined.
10. I can't sleep at night because I'm so excited to find out what we are having, rollover to discuss excitement with Porter...he's fast asleep on his stomach. I resent him.
11. Seeing our 3/4 of a pound babe's private parts and realizing it's a girl...totally worth it.

16 Weeks Pregnant. What Your Mama Doesn't Tell You.

Before lunch.
(This isn't the best shirt I know but these were the only pictures we had. You're gonna think I'm enormous by 20 weeks, trust me)


After Lunch.


What I Really feel like.


1. All of my clothes shrank.
2. After trying to lead a healthy active life for 26 years, this whole sit around eat, and gain a few pounds a month thing is not being handled too well.
3. Yay, NBC Thursday! Crap, I fell asleep again.
4. So. Sick. Of. Food.
5. We haven't gone to a movie theater since December.
6. I haven't pooped in 3 days.
7. Can't do: scrambled eggs, Porter's colonge, cayane pepper or metal jewlery.
Won't Do: Cook healthy meals or 8am ward council every Sunday.
Shouldn't Do: Walk anywhere near Nordstrom Baby department.
8. Bra shopping, haven't done that since the 8th grade.
9. "Yes Porter, I AM wearing your pajama's again. And yes, it IS 2pm. Get used to it.
10. The whole "feeling better by 2nd trimester" thing. Total sham.
11. Goodbye waist. Hello Headaches
12. Asinine acid reflux every night around 10pm followed by puking. If I puke up rainbow colored tums one more time...
13. Distinguishing the difference between gas bubbles and actually feeling our little ninja baby...all worth it.

12 Weeks Pregnant: What your Mama Doesn't Tell You

**Forward: Before you read my personal pregnant journal know that I am sarcastically serious through out it all. Some excerpts might be a little TMI and this is not to deter anyone from getting pregnant :) More just comic relief for the every days of pregnancy, and for all you mamas who know exactly what I'm going through and can laugh with me. Although the majority of it may sound some what awful, I really have never felt so blessed and overjoyed to go through this amazing process called motherhood.

I don't have an official "12 week" belly picture...but I figure this pretty much sums up the month.


(Porter took this picture laughing the whole time saying: "But hun, you'll wanna remember this!" as I'm screaming: "shut the door, you're disgusting!"....Look at me now, I can't believe I'm actually putting it on my blog)

1. I can officially keep a conversation going smoothly on the phone or in person with Porter while puking
2. Everyone tells you about the barfing part but fails to mention the loss of bladder control WHILE barfing part. It makes for a hilarious-horrible time.
3. Unused dog-poop bags come in handy for car pukes...till you run out.
4. I already feel as if I am not appreciating my 1st pregnancy. I know next time around I will laugh at how easy I had it the first time with no kids.
5. Pepperoni pizza and Cheeseburgers. My go-to snacks. (yes, I said snacks)
6. "No sir, I will NOT be picking up my dogs poop." Thanks for asking though.
7. No matter how many minutes a day I spend over that ONE toilet we have Porter somehow still refuses to clean it. And no matter how many times he beckons me into the candle-lit bedroom I'm still feeling nauseous...I guess it all evens out right?
8. Im pretty sure this baby is the size of a pinto bean...peeing 5 times a night...really baby...is that necessary?
9. Have nothing to wear; start crying. Can't find the car in the Target parking lot; start crying. Cute hubby brings me home a new shirt, awwwww, notice it's a size L; start bawling.
10. Beef. It's what's for dinner.
11. For 5 short minutes we see our gummy bear of a baby move for the first time...totally worth all 12 weeks.

We are going on 4 years of Marriage which in the LDS world may beg the question...."And no kids???" To that endless question we have been hearing as of late I'll give you all some google image answers:






We have been blessed with 10 nieces and nephews and I have nannied 12 different kids over the past 3 years so we are under no illusion that having children is a magical, blissful time.

Although...you may be wondering "Then why post a complaint about kids you don't even have?" It can only mean...



Yes, yes we are 20 weeks pregnant, And ecstatic.

We know that raising a family will be the hardest thing we will ever do. We know we can kiss sleep and our savings account goodbye. But we also know it will be the greatest most rewarding job of all time. We have thoroughly LOVED our 4 years of child-less marriage and would not change it for the world, but cannot wait for our eternity to be parents. Wish us luck, even though we think we may be prepared, we know we're in for a rude awaking come August 30th.

PS...It's a GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Stay tuned for my pregnancy diary updates)

Best. Christmas Card. EVER.

Jolly Holidays! from Tia Bowen on Vimeo.

Thanks for makin' us look so in-love and dang good Tia!

Meet two of my Nephews...

Yeah, they're pretty cool. Ten and seven...and yes, they DID go to church like that.

San Francisco For the Sistas

Spent a much needed Ladies weekend in Danville a couple weeks ago. We had the ultimate girls weekend filled with manicures, pedicures, shopping, eating, movies and staying up late laughing. SOME of us even squeezed a 6 mile run into it as well. Spent a day in the city where I have NEVER had better weather, I was preparing for snow-ski attire on 8:00am in November in San Francisco, but it was a blue-bird 70 plus degrees. Crazy.

In my sister Rachel's words; preparing for the weekend mostly went down like this: (keep in mind we are all on a 5-way phone call)

Michelle: Come on ladies it will be fun, lets run a race in San Francisco. It's only a 10K.
Nicole: Yes! I'm in, I just ran 7 miles this morning.
Rachel: Really? Can't we just get together and hang out?
Denise: I'll only do it if someone will walk with me.
Rebecca: Nope - no fun. I have been working my tail off out here in Phoenix - no way am I coming on a trip to wake up early and run.

Michelle and Nikki talked us all into it. Airplane tickets were bought, babysitters arranged, just one small item overlooked - signing us up for the race. According to 3 of us - AWESOME!! We had a great weekend of shopping, eating and movies. Then on race day, the young ones woke us all up and convinced us of taking them to the City so they could "sneak in." As we pull up we hear the starting gun go off and the announcer yell "They're off!" Out of the car hop Michelle and Nicole and run through the starting point 3 minutes behind the pack. Us oldies walked it far behind them. The weather was GREAT - I've never seen a nicer day by the bay. We finished it off with a walk across the Golden Gate Bride. Fun Weekend.

(Thanks for letting me plagiarize your blog Rach, takes me right back to high school. Copy. Paste. Done.)