20 Weeks Pregnant: What your Mama Doesn't Tell You

22 Weeks


What I actually feel like


1. Officially only one pair of pants left that I can button up.
2. I'm down to only one puke a day and peeing just 3 times a night. It's all very exciting.
3. I now sleep with 5 pillows minimum.
4. I find myself finding excuses to tell even random strangers that I'm pregnant...just so they don't think I'm fat.
5. "Miss nurse, please don't make me get on that scale."
6. My hips are bruised from only being able to sleep on my sides.
7. Hun, I know it's 72 degrees in our apartment, that's why I'm turning the air conditioning on.
8. Amazed and grateful to have a supportive, patient husband who still unconditionally loves me and is somehow still attracted to the crazy pregnant lady that is me.
9. Breaking down and finally going maternity shopping...it's just as terrible as I imagined.
10. I can't sleep at night because I'm so excited to find out what we are having, rollover to discuss excitement with Porter...he's fast asleep on his stomach. I resent him.
11. Seeing our 3/4 of a pound babe's private parts and realizing it's a girl...totally worth it.

16 Weeks Pregnant. What Your Mama Doesn't Tell You.

Before lunch.
(This isn't the best shirt I know but these were the only pictures we had. You're gonna think I'm enormous by 20 weeks, trust me)


After Lunch.


What I Really feel like.


1. All of my clothes shrank.
2. After trying to lead a healthy active life for 26 years, this whole sit around eat, and gain a few pounds a month thing is not being handled too well.
3. Yay, NBC Thursday! Crap, I fell asleep again.
4. So. Sick. Of. Food.
5. We haven't gone to a movie theater since December.
6. I haven't pooped in 3 days.
7. Can't do: scrambled eggs, Porter's colonge, cayane pepper or metal jewlery.
Won't Do: Cook healthy meals or 8am ward council every Sunday.
Shouldn't Do: Walk anywhere near Nordstrom Baby department.
8. Bra shopping, haven't done that since the 8th grade.
9. "Yes Porter, I AM wearing your pajama's again. And yes, it IS 2pm. Get used to it.
10. The whole "feeling better by 2nd trimester" thing. Total sham.
11. Goodbye waist. Hello Headaches
12. Asinine acid reflux every night around 10pm followed by puking. If I puke up rainbow colored tums one more time...
13. Distinguishing the difference between gas bubbles and actually feeling our little ninja baby...all worth it.

12 Weeks Pregnant: What your Mama Doesn't Tell You

**Forward: Before you read my personal pregnant journal know that I am sarcastically serious through out it all. Some excerpts might be a little TMI and this is not to deter anyone from getting pregnant :) More just comic relief for the every days of pregnancy, and for all you mamas who know exactly what I'm going through and can laugh with me. Although the majority of it may sound some what awful, I really have never felt so blessed and overjoyed to go through this amazing process called motherhood.

I don't have an official "12 week" belly picture...but I figure this pretty much sums up the month.


(Porter took this picture laughing the whole time saying: "But hun, you'll wanna remember this!" as I'm screaming: "shut the door, you're disgusting!"....Look at me now, I can't believe I'm actually putting it on my blog)

1. I can officially keep a conversation going smoothly on the phone or in person with Porter while puking
2. Everyone tells you about the barfing part but fails to mention the loss of bladder control WHILE barfing part. It makes for a hilarious-horrible time.
3. Unused dog-poop bags come in handy for car pukes...till you run out.
4. I already feel as if I am not appreciating my 1st pregnancy. I know next time around I will laugh at how easy I had it the first time with no kids.
5. Pepperoni pizza and Cheeseburgers. My go-to snacks. (yes, I said snacks)
6. "No sir, I will NOT be picking up my dogs poop." Thanks for asking though.
7. No matter how many minutes a day I spend over that ONE toilet we have Porter somehow still refuses to clean it. And no matter how many times he beckons me into the candle-lit bedroom I'm still feeling nauseous...I guess it all evens out right?
8. Im pretty sure this baby is the size of a pinto bean...peeing 5 times a night...really baby...is that necessary?
9. Have nothing to wear; start crying. Can't find the car in the Target parking lot; start crying. Cute hubby brings me home a new shirt, awwwww, notice it's a size L; start bawling.
10. Beef. It's what's for dinner.
11. For 5 short minutes we see our gummy bear of a baby move for the first time...totally worth all 12 weeks.

We are going on 4 years of Marriage which in the LDS world may beg the question...."And no kids???" To that endless question we have been hearing as of late I'll give you all some google image answers:






We have been blessed with 10 nieces and nephews and I have nannied 12 different kids over the past 3 years so we are under no illusion that having children is a magical, blissful time.

Although...you may be wondering "Then why post a complaint about kids you don't even have?" It can only mean...



Yes, yes we are 20 weeks pregnant, And ecstatic.

We know that raising a family will be the hardest thing we will ever do. We know we can kiss sleep and our savings account goodbye. But we also know it will be the greatest most rewarding job of all time. We have thoroughly LOVED our 4 years of child-less marriage and would not change it for the world, but cannot wait for our eternity to be parents. Wish us luck, even though we think we may be prepared, we know we're in for a rude awaking come August 30th.

PS...It's a GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Stay tuned for my pregnancy diary updates)