Labor & Delivery: What Your Mama Doesn't Tell You

No matter how hard you try to to fake yourself for 9 months by "planning that your baby will come a week or two late" you're body really knows you want nothing more than to have that baby come out 2 weeks early :)

So when I still had a week to go till due date and Doc told me he didn't expect I'd last that long I tried really hard to not believe him. So much so that when I started contracting that night around 7pm I kept trying to convince myself it must be an upset stomach or maybe gas pains, there is no way she's actually coming early.

Around 8am; after ZERO minutes of sleep, and barely able to walk due to my insanely painful "gas pains" I figured I'd better call the doctors office. The nurse calmly confirmed I was having actual contractions I then told her I thought they were approximately 5 minutes apart and the day before at my appointment I was dilated to a 4...she then not so calmly told me to get my booty to the hospital cause things could start moving FAST.

Suddenly, my worry of going to the hospital only to be sent home, quickly changed to a worry of getting to the hospital and it being too late for an epidural. I then, not so nicely, woke Porter up (from his peaceful 10 HOUR NIGHT SLEEP) and told him to drive us to the hospital! We were in a delivery room by 9am and I had my heaven-sent epidural in by 10. From there I was dialated to a 7 and the nurses told me it wouldn't be much longer....but just as labor goes...after 2 movies and 10 popsicles later; our little Aimsley Mae didn't make her grand entrance until 5:19pm.

I am grateful those 24 hours have come and gone. Being a first-timer, labor and delivery is what scared me the most. And now that our healthy little pooping, squeaking, sleeping, eating bundle of joy is with us, I'd do it all over again. Just give me two to three years :).

1.The entire last month of pregnancy all I wanted was Aimsley to come out. Then I felt my first contraction.
2. When I was contracting the entire night before, I obviously couldn't sleep so in hopes of keeping my mind occupied I did mindless things such as laundry, showering, dishes etc. But, the few times I tried to get some rest I would wake Porter up with my loud breathing and he, in his half-asleep state of not knowing what to do to comfort me thought it would help to mumble-out the "crazy dreams" he was having. Really? Hearing about your dreams? You think that's what I want right now hun? I don't even like hearing about those when I'm not in the worst pain EVER.
3a. Although at times I was in pain, I absolutely loved pretending like we were in a movie...frantically running around the house, making sure we had everything, then speeding to the hospital, honking and screaming: "Outta our way! Lady with a baby!" Then when we arrived, Porter throwing our keys at the Valet and shouting: "We're about to have a baby!" and rushing into the hospital.
3b. Reality hit when after checking in we were kindly asked to sit in the lobby till our room was prepared. Lets just say It made for an awkward moment after 20 minutes when the Valet boy came in and saw us still just waiting around.
4. Your doctor isn't on-call today. Dr. Random will be delivering your baby. Typical.
5. Why do labor terms sound so disgusting? Mucus plug, ripening, bloody show. Seriously?
6. You know you have been in labor too long when the lady in the room next door came in after you and delivers before you. Then, the nurses who have been with you ALL day and you've grown to love have to go help deliver lady-next-door and you have to deliver with random new nurse and random Doctor. Perfect.
7. It's hard to imagine the intimacy of nurse holding one leg, Porter holding the other and you...pushing like there's no tomorrow. Porter thought he would be able to not watch, just stand by my head filming and holding my hand. Boy was he wrong. Front seat, right in the action for you Daddy! (He surprised himself, he loved it. It was adorable)
8. Would you like to tear or have an epeisiotomy? A question I wouldn't mind never hearing again.
9. "Okay, we are going to take you off the monitor, you just push when you think you're having a contraction." Wait, What!? Seriously, remember, I got an epidural specifically so that I wouldn't feel those.
10. "Let's pop this baby out" is a term often used. More like "Let's have you push harder than you've ever pushed in your life, till you think you're gonna pass out, and your brains are going to explode out of your head. Okay good, now just do that for 30 more minutes and op, aww your baby's here!"
11. Was it selfish of me that I felt like screaming: "Dammit Porter, HURRY UP and cut the cord already so I can hold my baby!!!!!" I didn't.
12. Finally being able to hold our crying, messy, swollen, cone-headed, absolutely perfect, beautiful little baby girl. Completely Worth it.

There are no words to describe how miraculous that moment is when you see and hold your baby for the first time. Luckily we are able to be here at this time when film and photos may do a better job.